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we thought we lost you
Wol wrote a thing and it hurt me deeply and so I wrote ficlet for it, um.
---
“You can take it from here, Riku.”
Namine has a knowing smile on her face when she says it, like she and Riku are old friends, old partners in crime. Kairi would wonder how they know each other if she wasn’t currently hung up on the name ‘Riku’ that’s just dropped from Namine’s mouth.
She stares hard at the figure in the black coat- not Saix, but the one whose face she can’t see. It’s like a rock has dropped right into the bottom of her stomach. Riku. Her mind fills with fragments of memories-
Two boys race along the shoreline, one of them in it for the pure fun and one of them in it to win.
They laugh together and play together, but sometimes teasing between friends goes too far and he gets downright mean by accident. She makes him apologize for it later, but he rolls his eyes when she isn’t looking.
They start getting worried when all he does anymore is stare at the horizon with a hungry look that says he’d do anything to chase after it.
There’s a storm over the island and she’s worried about the raft, but there are monsters out tonight and she can’t find either of them.
She wakes from the longest sleep she’s ever taken. Sora is gone and Riku is barely there, holding back something sinister and begging her to run.
Before she can process any more, Saix and Riku- it’s him, it has to be, right?- are battling again. It’s over quickly as Saix slips away through a corridor but Riku is pursuing him and she can’t let him slip away again. Not again. Not ever.
Pluto is ahead of her, barking and wagging his tail and blocking Riku’s exit. As she approaches him she can feel her heart pounding in her throat. “Riku,” she says, dropping those same syllables from her own mouth for the first time in a long while. “It’s really you,” she says, and there’s no question mark on the end. She refuses to believe it couldn’t be him.
Kairi isn’t sure what she expected him to do upon approach, but as she gets close he tenses and takes a single step back, almost like he’s looking for somewhere to run. She frowns, reaches up, and pushes the hood right off his head.
His eyes are shut in a wince when his face comes into view. When he opens them slowly, his head is bowed in a shameful expression. He can only make eye contact with her for a second before staring resolutely at the corner of the floor.
Before anything else happens, Kairi hugs him. She buries her face in his chest and breathes in the smell and it’s absolutely the same as it’s always been. Riku has no idea what to do with any of this and stands there, wide-eyed and frozen. “You’re here,” says Kairi’s muffled voice against his coat, and all the dialogue he can pry out of himself is, “Yeah.”
When she pulls away, she wipes her eyes before smiling bright up at him. The moment hangs longer than it should, but before he can say or do anything else, she pulls back and punches him hard in the arm.
“Ow- Kairi, wh- ?” Riku rubs his arm and holds onto an affronted face to match her angry one. “How could you do that?” she says, voice trembling. “No word, no text, no call, not even a letter!” Angry tears are starting to build up in her eyes now but she doesn’t care. “I thought you were dead,” she says very, very quietly. “I thought you were worse than dead.”
Guilt settles heavy into Riku’s chest like it does so often these days. He can’t look her in the eye again and goes back to the floor. “I... I’m sorry.” His hands pull into fists. “I just. I thought it would be... better this way.”
“Better?” She’s absolutely incredulous. “You thought it would be better if everyone thought you were gone? How can you say that?” It hurts, and she’s angry, and she doesn’t understand. Her voice softens, though, and she reaches up to touch his face. He flinches.
“Riku... what happened to you?” He tries very hard to hide how sick his stomach feels right now. She’s asking about his face. He’s almost surprised it took this long. “I fought with Ansem, but I... there were some consequences,” he finishes. He doesn’t want to talk about this at all.
Kairi shakes her head. “Not your face.” Riku looks back at her with confusion. “What happened to you?” she repeats softly. “You used to be... confident and steadfast. You were our fearless leader, the captain of the raft, the best swordfighter on the whole island.” That’s the Riku she remembers. This new Riku is sad and quiet and withdrawn and not all of it can be his face, she knows.
He looks down again but the expression has shifted from shame to something else. Something with less guilt, but less of everything else, too. “I learned a few lessons about humility,” is all he says, even thought Kairi knows there’s more to the story than that. “You don’t sound humble,” she says, and he looks rather taken aback for a moment before sliding into a familiar sarcastic lilt. “Sorry, I’ll work on that.” She shakes her head. “You sound... like someone who doesn’t like himself.”
Suddenly this is getting all too personal for Riku and he decides to nip this conversation before it can get worse. “We don’t have time for this right now,” he says, straightening and steering the subject back where he feels more in control. “The Organization still has to be stopped.”
Kairi knows a topic change when she hears one, but lets him for now. There will be time to fix whatever it is that’s broken inside her friend once they’re all three together again. Everything will be okay. They’ll make him okay.
She gives Riku a resolute nod. “Okay. Can we go see Sora now?” She hasn’t forgotten how much she wants to see him again, even with the detour of finding out her other best friend is somehow alive. Most of all, she wants the three of them to be one again, just like they used to be. And then, nothing can stand against them.
---
“You can take it from here, Riku.”
Namine has a knowing smile on her face when she says it, like she and Riku are old friends, old partners in crime. Kairi would wonder how they know each other if she wasn’t currently hung up on the name ‘Riku’ that’s just dropped from Namine’s mouth.
She stares hard at the figure in the black coat- not Saix, but the one whose face she can’t see. It’s like a rock has dropped right into the bottom of her stomach. Riku. Her mind fills with fragments of memories-
Two boys race along the shoreline, one of them in it for the pure fun and one of them in it to win.
They laugh together and play together, but sometimes teasing between friends goes too far and he gets downright mean by accident. She makes him apologize for it later, but he rolls his eyes when she isn’t looking.
They start getting worried when all he does anymore is stare at the horizon with a hungry look that says he’d do anything to chase after it.
There’s a storm over the island and she’s worried about the raft, but there are monsters out tonight and she can’t find either of them.
She wakes from the longest sleep she’s ever taken. Sora is gone and Riku is barely there, holding back something sinister and begging her to run.
Before she can process any more, Saix and Riku- it’s him, it has to be, right?- are battling again. It’s over quickly as Saix slips away through a corridor but Riku is pursuing him and she can’t let him slip away again. Not again. Not ever.
Pluto is ahead of her, barking and wagging his tail and blocking Riku’s exit. As she approaches him she can feel her heart pounding in her throat. “Riku,” she says, dropping those same syllables from her own mouth for the first time in a long while. “It’s really you,” she says, and there’s no question mark on the end. She refuses to believe it couldn’t be him.
Kairi isn’t sure what she expected him to do upon approach, but as she gets close he tenses and takes a single step back, almost like he’s looking for somewhere to run. She frowns, reaches up, and pushes the hood right off his head.
His eyes are shut in a wince when his face comes into view. When he opens them slowly, his head is bowed in a shameful expression. He can only make eye contact with her for a second before staring resolutely at the corner of the floor.
Before anything else happens, Kairi hugs him. She buries her face in his chest and breathes in the smell and it’s absolutely the same as it’s always been. Riku has no idea what to do with any of this and stands there, wide-eyed and frozen. “You’re here,” says Kairi’s muffled voice against his coat, and all the dialogue he can pry out of himself is, “Yeah.”
When she pulls away, she wipes her eyes before smiling bright up at him. The moment hangs longer than it should, but before he can say or do anything else, she pulls back and punches him hard in the arm.
“Ow- Kairi, wh- ?” Riku rubs his arm and holds onto an affronted face to match her angry one. “How could you do that?” she says, voice trembling. “No word, no text, no call, not even a letter!” Angry tears are starting to build up in her eyes now but she doesn’t care. “I thought you were dead,” she says very, very quietly. “I thought you were worse than dead.”
Guilt settles heavy into Riku’s chest like it does so often these days. He can’t look her in the eye again and goes back to the floor. “I... I’m sorry.” His hands pull into fists. “I just. I thought it would be... better this way.”
“Better?” She’s absolutely incredulous. “You thought it would be better if everyone thought you were gone? How can you say that?” It hurts, and she’s angry, and she doesn’t understand. Her voice softens, though, and she reaches up to touch his face. He flinches.
“Riku... what happened to you?” He tries very hard to hide how sick his stomach feels right now. She’s asking about his face. He’s almost surprised it took this long. “I fought with Ansem, but I... there were some consequences,” he finishes. He doesn’t want to talk about this at all.
Kairi shakes her head. “Not your face.” Riku looks back at her with confusion. “What happened to you?” she repeats softly. “You used to be... confident and steadfast. You were our fearless leader, the captain of the raft, the best swordfighter on the whole island.” That’s the Riku she remembers. This new Riku is sad and quiet and withdrawn and not all of it can be his face, she knows.
He looks down again but the expression has shifted from shame to something else. Something with less guilt, but less of everything else, too. “I learned a few lessons about humility,” is all he says, even thought Kairi knows there’s more to the story than that. “You don’t sound humble,” she says, and he looks rather taken aback for a moment before sliding into a familiar sarcastic lilt. “Sorry, I’ll work on that.” She shakes her head. “You sound... like someone who doesn’t like himself.”
Suddenly this is getting all too personal for Riku and he decides to nip this conversation before it can get worse. “We don’t have time for this right now,” he says, straightening and steering the subject back where he feels more in control. “The Organization still has to be stopped.”
Kairi knows a topic change when she hears one, but lets him for now. There will be time to fix whatever it is that’s broken inside her friend once they’re all three together again. Everything will be okay. They’ll make him okay.
She gives Riku a resolute nod. “Okay. Can we go see Sora now?” She hasn’t forgotten how much she wants to see him again, even with the detour of finding out her other best friend is somehow alive. Most of all, she wants the three of them to be one again, just like they used to be. And then, nothing can stand against them.